


do you understand, the way I love you?

by spacemanearthgirl



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: 5+1, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Some pining, SuperCorp, a tiny bit of angst, but lots of kisses, mentions of Sanvers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23498407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacemanearthgirl/pseuds/spacemanearthgirl
Summary: Five times Kara (platonically) kisses Lena and the one time Lena (romantically) kisses her in return.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 51
Kudos: 1568





	do you understand, the way I love you?

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday Alice, this is for you!

Lena lingers. She lingers behind after everyone has left game night, lingers in Kara’s apartment, in her space, not quite ready to say goodnight yet. She stays to help Kara clean up, stays to watch an episode of Friends because Kara insisted, and now she’s run out of excuses to stay any longer.

“I should go,” Lena says, making no actual move to stand.

“Do you have to?” Kara says, her eyes almost glistening with how wide they are, begging Lena to stay just a little longer. If Kara asked, Lena would agree to stay forever.

“I have an early meeting.”

“How early?”

“7am.”

“ _ Lena _ ,” Kara chastises. “It’s already late, why didn’t you say something?”

Lena doesn’t want to admit that she wasn’t quite ready to leave Kara yet. She smiles. “I was having fun with my best friend who I don’t get to see nearly as often as I’d like.” But she tells her anyway.

“I know,” Kara pouts. “It sucks, I hate being too busy to see you too. Do you think you’ll have time for lunch tomorrow?”

Lena thinks about her busy schedule, thinks of everything she has to do tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. But then she looks at Kara’s hopeful smile, at warm blue eyes that she’s always struggled to say no to.

This isn’t something she wants to say no to, even if she may have to stay a bit late tomorrow night.

“I’m sure I can squeeze you in,” Lena winks.

Kara laughs, full and loud and beautiful. “I’ll even bring you something with kale in it, if you’re lucky.”

Lena thinks that she’s already lucky enough, having Kara in her life.

“Okay,” Kara says, pushing herself off the couch. She holds out her hand towards Lena. “Come on, you need to go home and sleep.”

Lena makes a show of reluctance as she places her hand in Kara’s. Lena’s not sure if it’s Kara’s soft smile or the warm hand in hers that suddenly makes her feel like she’s floating. Lena thinks it may be both.

The walk to the door is too short for Lena’s liking, only because Kara drops her hand when they get there. It feels like she’s suddenly lost something, without Kara’s hand in hers, like Kara’s hand was made to fit in hers and without it, it just feels lonely.

Lena shakes the thought from her mind, what a ridiculous notion. There’s no way that Kara, with all the beauty and wonder that she is, was made for anything but greatness. Lena does not fit that bill at all, despite how nice it would be if it were true.

Lena slips into the coat that Kara hands her, doing up the buttons just to give herself a few extra seconds with Kara.

It’s sort of pathetic.

Right now, Lena doesn’t care.

“Thank you for tonight,” Lena says, when she’s officially run out of reasons to stay.

Kara smiles and God, Lena’s really in deep, isn’t she? The smile fills her, makes her feel warm, knowing it’s just for her, knowing that Kara didn’t ask any of her other friends to stay.

“Thanks for coming,” Kara says, arms opening in an obvious invitation. Lena easily steps into the embrace, easily steps into Kara’s warmth, as strong arms wraps around her. Lena feels safe, in Kara’s hold, completely surrounded, as Lena holds Kara back, as Lena presses her face into Kara’s neck and just breathes in the scent that is her.

She’s lingering again, like she has been all night, but she can’t bring herself to care right now because Kara is too, Kara is stilling holding her tightly.

But then arms are slipping from around her so Lena lets go to. She’s not sure if she’s just reading too much into it but Kara seems as reluctant to let go as she is.

And now Lena is really out of reasons to stay, because ‘I just want to keep looking at your face a little longer’ is not an acceptable one.

Lena keeps looking anyway, just for an extra moment, which is why she notices the nervous twitch of Kara’s hand as it comes up to adjust glasses that have long since been gone. Kara bites her lip, a clear sign she’s nervous, like she wants to say something but is unsure.

Lena focuses on that, on what Kara might be suddenly nervous about saying, not the fact that she wants to be the one biting Kara’s lip.

Kara says nothing though, she says nothing but she leans forwards instead, Lena’s heart leaping into her throat as soft lips press gently against her cheek.

The touch burns, makes her feel red-hot all over.

There’s no lingering this time, even though Lena really wishes there was, the lips gone almost as soon as they’d touched her cheek. Lena would be worried she’d just imagined the whole thing if not for the flaming red colour Kara’s cheeks have suddenly turned, the colour spreading down her neck.

Lena thinks her cheeks might be the same.

“Goodnight, Lena,” Kara says quietly, her fingers twisting together, still nervous. Her eyes keep darting to Lena’s then away again.

Lena smiles through the pounding of her own heart, the nerves in Kara’s eyes easing as she does. “Goodnight, Kara,” Lena says, just as quiet, too scared anything louder will break the moment.

Lena thinks about Kara’s lips for the rest of the night.

* * *

She gets the call not five minutes after it happens, but it’s the longest five minutes of Lena’s life. She’d watched Supergirl hit the ground, unable to look away from the TV screen as she’d seen blood seep from a wound above Supergirl’s eye, from another cut on her lip.

Supergirl isn’t meant to bleed.

And then Kara hadn’t gotten up, she’d just laid there amongst the rubble, eyes closed, before the cameras panned away, and Lena had had no idea if she was alright or not.

She’s not sure what she’d do if Kara wasn’t alright.

She knows worry comes with the territory of being Supergirl’s best friend, but that doesn’t make moments like this any easier.

“She’s okay.”

It’s the first thing that Alex says when Lena answers the phone and some of the worry pooled in her stomach lessens, some of the panic constricting her chest loosens.

“Thank God. Where is she?”

“The DEO, she’s safe.”

Lena gathers her belongings. “I’ll be there soon.” She doesn’t wait for Alex to answer as she hangs up the phone, already halfway out of her office.

“Cancel everything for the rest of the day,” Lena says to Jess on the way past her desk.

“Already done,” Jess says. “I hope she’s okay.”

Lena nods her head as she steps onto the elevator. “Thank you.” 

Jess has never said anything, but Lena is pretty sure she knows Kara is Supergirl. And she definitely knows how Lena feels about Kara so if she’d seen the news, it’s no surprise that she already knew that Lena would be leaving.

She belatedly realises as she steps onto the street that she forgot to text her driver, so she’s entirely surprised when he pulls up in front of her.

She’s going to give Jess a raise.

The drive to the DEO takes entirely too long and her fingers are red by the time they get there thanks to her nervously twisting them together. Alex had said Kara is fine, but she needs to see for herself, needs to get the image of Kara, eyes closed, bleeding on the ground, out of her mind.

Security lets her in no problem, there’d been a few bumps when she first started helping the DEO but now no one bats at eye when she comes and goes now. She makes a beeline straight for the med bay, knowing that’s where Kara will be, healing under the sunlamps she’d helped Winn and Alex improve.

She’d do anything to help Kara.

She’s almost there, can see the open door where she knows Kara is, but a figure steps in front of her, blocking her way.

She knows Alex isn’t trying to stop her from seeing Kara.

“How is she?”

“She’s good, she’s resting.”

Lena feels even more of the stress seep out of her, shoulders deflating. “Can I see her?”

Alex smiles. “Of course, she’s been asking for you.” Alex steps forward, pulling Lena into an unexpected hug. “Thanks for coming.”

Lena grips on tight, needing the grounding for a moment, feeling all of a sudden like Alex is the older sibling she’d always hoped Lex would be, strong and safe and there for her.

With the way Alex grips back just as tightly, Lena can tell she wasn’t the only one worried about Kara.

Alex steps away after a moment, nodding her head behind her. “She’s in there.”

She nods her thanks to Alex, eager to see Kara for herself. 

She stops short in the doorway of the room when her eyes land on Kara, emotion white and hot rising in her.

Kara looks so small on the large bed, so fragile, under the glow of the yellow lamps.

“Lena,” Kara smiles, a little sleepy but all Kara in her affectionate gaze.

Lena’s feet work of their own accord, bringing her closer to Kara. Always, wanting to be closer to Kara.

The cuts on her face are healing, Lena notes as she gets closer, but she still looks slightly pale, the blood still on her suit a startling reminder of how hurt Kara had been.

“How are you feeling?” Lena asks, hovering a few feet from the bed, eyes roaming down Kara’s body, looking for any more obvious signs of injury.

Kara shrugs. “I’ve been better.”

Lena laughs, relief washing through her. Kara’s here, Kara’s safe, she’s okay and she’s her usual dorky (charming) self.

“Come here,” Kara says, holding out her hand.

Lena easily takes it, stepping properly to Kara’s side. The hand in hers is warm, a solid reminder that Kara is here, the last of the tension leaving Lena’s body.

“I’m okay,” Kara promises, bringing Lena’s hand up to kiss the back of it. Her lips linger, soft against the back of Lena’s hand.

Lena warms at the contact.

Kara’s hand falls to rest beside her but she keeps Lena’s hand in hers, twines their fingers together. Lena thinks Kara may need the contact as much as she does.

“Do you know what sucks the most about all this?” Kara asks not long later, breaking the silence that had just settled around them.

“What?”

“I was looking forward to tonight, to getting to spend the whole evening with you.”

With everything that has happened in the last hour, Lena had forgotten they’d had a movie night planned for tonight.

Lena eyes roam over their joined hands, how well they fit together, how right it feels to have Kara’s hand in hers. “Well, it may not be the night we were expecting but at least we can still spend it together.”

Kara’s eyes widen we she realises what Lena is saying. “You’re going to stay?”

Lena hadn’t even considered leaving Kara here alone as an option. “Of course, I’m not going to leave my best friend alone in the equivalent of a hospital all night.”

Kara grins, already looking better than she was when Lena arrived. She squeezes their joined hands. “You’re definitely my favourite.”

Lena’s grinning now too. It makes sense for Kara to be her favourite person, there’s not many people she’s close to. But for Kara to say she’s her favourite is something else entirely. Kara, who has a whole group of friends, who has her pick of a best friend, has chosen her.

“I have an idea.”

Lena’s words only make Kara grin wider. “What?”

“Do you think Alex would be able to find us a laptop or something to use? Because if so, we could still have a movie night.”

Kara doesn’t answer, just presses the call button on the side of the bed. Lena’s assuming that means Kara likes her idea.

Alex appears at the door not long later. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine,” Kara nods. “Can I borrow your laptop?”

Lena watches Alex relax when she realises Kara is fine. Her eyes narrow and flicker between the two of them in the room. “Why?”

“Lena said she’s going to stay here with me and she suggested we have our movie night here since I can’t leave. So can we please?” Wide eyes stare pleadingly at Alex. If Alex can say no to that look, she’s a stronger person than Lena is.

Alex softens, her smile on Lena as she speaks. “I’ll see what I can find.”

“Thank you!” Kara says, beaming at her sister.

“And thank you,” Kara says, softer, quieter, once Alex has left the room. “For staying.”

Lena soothes her thumb over the back of their still joined hands. “Always.”

Alex has a laptop in hand when she returns not long later, as well as a bundle of clothes tucked under her other arm. Lena smiles as she accepts the change of clothes, looking more movie night appropriate than the skirt and blazer she’s currently wearing. 

Lena ducks into the bathroom down the hall to get changed and by the time she gets back, Kara is dressed in her own DEO sweats, looking much more comfortable on the bed, the laptop perched on her knees.

“I got Netflix working so we can watch the next movie on our list if you want.”

“Sounds good to me,” Lena says, retaking her seat at Kara’s side.

“Nope,” Kara says, shaking her head at Lena. “You’re not sitting there.” She scoots over in the bed and Lena easily understand what she wants.

Lena’s halfway out of her seat when Alex reenters the room.

“Kara requested a blanket too,” Alex says, handing Lena said blanket. “Have fun, buzz if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” Lena says, earning a smile from the agent before she leaves, closing the door behind them.

Lena takes Kara’s recently vacated spot on the bed, careful not to jostle Kara too much as she still isn’t fully healed. Lena has to settle in close beside Kara though, suddenly glad that the bed is a single. She spreads the blanket over them both and Lena can practically feel Kara’s excitement as she places the laptop between them and hits play.

That excitement doesn’t last long, ten minutes in and Kara is yawning.

They’re twenty minutes in when a head hits her shoulder and Lena shifts slightly so Kara’s in a more comfortable position.

It only takes thirty minutes and Kara is fast asleep, clearly warn out after the afternoon she’s had.

Lena herself isn’t tired, it’s still only early evening, but she just lets Kara sleep, enjoying the reassuring comfort of her best friend. She falls asleep a few hours later herself, after watching another movie and doing some work on her phone, Kara’s even breathing lulling her into the best sleep she’s had in weeks.

* * *

Lena looks down at her outfit as she enters the bar, wonders if she’s gone too casual for a night out drinking with friends. She’s used to dressing up to go out, not dressing down. She thought she’d try something different tonight, instead of just turning up in her work clothes. She hopes the jeans aren’t too much.

She spots the rest of her friends across the bar, sees drinks already on the table, feels bad that work had kept her late, again.

Kara must hear her because her head swivels in Lena’s direction as she approaches the table, grin spreading across Kara’s face as she spots her.

Lena hopes Kara isn’t listening too closely as her heart picks up in her chest, Lena’s not the only one wearing jeans, and they look unfairly good on Kara.

The suit jacket that Kara’s still wearing despite the heat in the room only adds to the look.

“Hi,” Kara says, standing to greet her, Lena letting herself be pulled into a hug, finally relaxing in Kara’s embrace, all the tension from her work day leaving her shoulders. Kara has this way of making her feel better in any situation, even with something as small as this. “You look great,” Kara smiles when she pulls away, her eyes dropping to take in Lena’s outfit.

Lena feels herself heat under the gaze but uses it as permission for her own eyes to wander down Kara’s body again, enjoying the look even more close up.

“So do you.”

She thinks she may be imagining it but Kara’s cheeks redden.

Alex’s voice pulls her out of the staring contest she seemed to have been having with Kara. Lena turns to greet the rest of her friends, friends she’d almost forgotten are here too.

Kara lets Lena slide into the booth first then scoots in close beside her, despite the fact that there’s more room across the table.

Lena’s not going to complain.

“Shoot, you haven’t got a drink,” Kara says, Lena realising the fact too late herself. She was going to grab one on the way to the table but had been distracted. “What do you want? I’ll go get out one.”

“It’s fine, I can-“ Lena starts but Kara stops her with a look that says there’s no room for arguments.

“Scotch?”

“Okay, one scotch, coming up. I’ll be back in a minute.” She leans forward presses a quick kiss to Lena’s cheek. “I’m so glad you came,” Kara says quietly, her smile so soft and beautiful that Lena almost throws caution to the wind and just kisses Kara.

Kara lingers in her space for a moment, Lena caught in her gaze, caught in how her lips felt against her cheek, but then she’s gone before Lena can formulate an actual response, which is probably a good thing because Lena’s not sure what she’d really say, expect for “your lips are really soft” or “can you kiss me again?”

Lena turns back to the group, finds them all watching her, Alex more suspiciously than the rest.

“What?” Lena eventually asks.

Alex shrugs, but clearly she has something on her mind. “Nothing.”

Lena’s talking to Winn when Kara returns, when she feels a warm body press into her side as a drink slides onto the table in front of her.

“Thank you,” Lena smiles, before she goes back to her conversation with Winn, and by conversation with Winn, she means her talking about something she’s working on, and Winn listening with rapt attention.

Kara must be listening too, because she jumps in with questions every now and then, while also joining in on the conversation Alex, Maggie and James are having across the table.

They get another round of drinks, Winn eventually letting her talk to the others (it really is sweet though, how excited he gets about technology) and then before Lena knows it, Maggie announces they’re going to play pool.

Kara takes her hand and drags her towards the pool table, and Lena lets her, mostly because Kara is suddenly holding her hand and she’d follow Kara anywhere, just as long as she didn’t let go. Lena opts out of playing, because she’s terrible at it, and Winn opts out too, which Lena figured out the first time she got invited out with them, was for the safety of everyone else.

So the teams are Alex and Maggie versus James and Kara.

It doesn’t take long for Lena to figure out which team is going to win. James is pretty good, Lena already knew that, and so is Kara, so it should’ve been a fairly even game, expect Kara keeps trying to do ridiculously hard shots that keep missing.

“Stop trying to show off,” James groans when it’s Kara’s turn and there’s a ball sitting right beside a corner pocket, but she goes for another instead, tries to hit two balls in at once and ends up missing both.

“Let her,” Alex grins. “Because it means we’re definitely going to win.”

Alex and Maggie actually start cheering for the opposite team when Kara tries to get a ball to jump over another, Lena joining in when it actually works and Kara sinks a ball.

Kara turns to her, grin wide as she winks, and Lena thinks James may not be so far off with his idea that Kara is showing off.

Alex and Maggie win, of course, the second game a lot closer though when James promises he’ll buy Kara some fries if she actually tries.

Kara doesn’t seem disappointed about their second loss because she gets fries out of it.

When they finally leave the bar, Lena is tired but happy. They’ve all promised they’ll do this again soon and Lena is already looking forward to it.

“I’ll fly you home?” Kara asks. Lena notices that no one else gets that offer.

But then all of that is gone from her mind, nothing else matters anymore when she nods to Kara’s question, this time Kara taking her hand to lead her to the alley behind the bar.

Lena steps into Kara’s open arms, this isn’t the first time Kara’s flown her home, and this certainly beats the few times Kara’s carried her from certain danger.

Lena wraps her arms around Kara’s neck, this way much more preferable than a bridal carry, only because she can feel the length of Kara’s body against hers, solid and warm.

“Close your eyes,” Kara whispers, her lips brushing the shell of Lena’s ear she’s so close.

Lena shivers despite the fact she’s not cold.

They take off and Lena slams her eyes shut, she is not a fan of heights at all. She tightens her hold around Kara, knows Kara would never drop her but it’s reassuring to feel like she’s holding on to, when , in reality, she’s really doing nothing.

Despite her aversion to flying, Lena is still disappointed when she feels her feet hit solid ground, when she feels Kara’s body pull away from hers as they land on her balcony.

“Thank you,” Lena smiles. At least this time, she can claim her heart is beating so fast because of the thrill of flying, not the fact she could feel Kara’s muscles through her clothes, could feel her breathing because she’d held her so close.

She’s still so close, she can smell her shampoo.

“Of course,” Kara smiles.

“Text me when you’re home?” Lena asks, something Kara would usually say to her to make sure she gets home safely. It doesn’t have the same tone when Kara can fly home in minutes.

Kara laughs quietly. “I will.”

Kara’s smile is so achingly soft that Lena doesn’t know what to do with all the feelings that swirl around in her chest. So she pushes them down and pretends they’re not there. “Goodnight.”

Kara hesitates for a moment and Lena has a sudden hope that Kara’s going to kiss her again. To Lena’s great disappointment, she doesn’t.

“Goodnight, Lena. Sleep well.”

Lena smiles. “You too.”

She watches Kara lift off, watches her drift backwards as she waves, grin on her face, before she takes off in a flash towards her own apartment.

Lena has to look down to make sure she’s not floating herself, with how full her chest feels right now.

* * *

Kara doesn’t know the significance of today, and Lena hasn’t told her, but she’s grateful that Kara invited her over to watch a movie, grateful that she doesn’t have to be alone right now.

Her mother’s death was years ago, more than twenty in fact, but it still hits her sometimes, more so today, what she lost, the loving mother she’ll never see again.

“Hey,” Kara says quietly, nudging her shoulder. “You okay? You’ve been quiet tonight.”

Lena blinks herself from her thoughts, sees the TV paused in front of her. Clearly she hadn’t been paying any attention at all if she didn’t notice that.

“Sorry, I…” Lena swallows. “I’m fine.”

Kara doesn’t look convinced. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” She pauses. “And if you don’t want to talk, I have some ice cream in the freezer that might cheer you up.”

Lena already feels better under Kara’s gentle concern, under her small smile. And then despite her proclivity for keeping things close to her chest, for rarely opening up, she talks. This is Kara, she wants her to know everything about, just like she wants to know everything about Kara in return.

“Today’s the anniversary of my mother’s death. Sorry,” she says, wiping at a tear that suddenly spills down her cheek. “I know it’s silly, it was a long time ago, but-“

“Hey, no,” Kara quickly cuts in, a warm hand falling to rest over Lena’s. “It’s not silly at all, you lost someone important to you, and no matter how long ago it was, it still hurts.”

It hurts so much, she doesn’t know how Kara can walk around everyday like nothing is wrong, after everything she’s lost too.

“I’m scared I’m going to forget her.”

Kara’s thumb strokes warm against the back of her hand. “Will you tell me about her?”

“You want to know about my mother?”

“Of course,” Kara nods. “But only if you want to tell me.”

“She was…” Lena starts, a smile slipping on her face as she thinks about her mother. “She was always so happy, always smiling, she always made me feel good.” The memories are vague, because Lena was so young when her mother died, and she’s not even sure what is real and what she dreamt up as a kid as she tried to think of her mother, but they feel so real in her mind now that she holds onto them. “She used to hug me so tight, and I’d always feel safe in her arms.”

Her mother and Kara have that in common.

“She used to smell really nice,” Lena continues. “The perfume she wore smelt like flowers, and I’ve looked for it but I’ve never been able to find the same one. She used to sing to me too, every night before I went to sleep, and I can’t remember what she used to sing but she had a beautiful voice.  _ She _ was beautiful.” Lena swallows. “I miss her.”

Kara squeezes her hand. “I know.” Lena doesn’t even realise more tears have fallen until a hand cups her cheek, a thumb runs under her eye to wipe away more tears. Kara tilts her head, leans forwards and presses a kiss to Lena’s forehead.

The touch is soft, Kara’s lips lingering against her forehead for a long moment before she pulls away. “I’m sorry that that happened to you, especially so young, it wasn’t fair.”

Lena wipes at her eyes again, emotions fighting in her chest, torn between touched at Kara’s concern and kindness, and hurt from the hole her mother left in her heart.

“Thank you for listening,” Lena breathes out, pulling herself together, or at least trying to.

“Thank you for telling me about her.”

Lena laughs quietly, not quite filled with humour but close. “Not that I really told you that much.” She wishes she could remember more.

“I know she gave good hugs and smelt nice.”

This time when Lena laughs, it’s a proper one. “All the important things.”

“Exactly,” Kara grins, Lena already beginning to feel better herself.

It’s not that Kara took away the pain the comes with the memories of her mother’s death, but she feels like she doesn’t have to face it alone anymore, knows that there’s someone here for her, someone who knows exactly what she’s going through, even if Lena’s is on a much smaller scale than Kara’s loss.

It feels good to share her mother with someone else, to finally open up to someone about her life before the Luthors.

“So, what flavour ice cream do you have?” Lena says after a long moment, a long moment where she’s caught on Kara’s smile, a long moment when she remembers the feel of Kara’s lips against her forehead and how safe and loved that made her feel.

She wishes her mother could’ve met Kara.

Kara smiles. “I bought mint chocolate chip, just for you.”

“You’re my favourite,” Lena says, wiping the last of her tears away, glad to have opened up instead of keeping all her feelings locked inside.

Maybe she should think about telling Kara how she feels about her, another set of feelings she’s keeping locked away.

Another time.

Kara’s hand drops to her thigh, holds there for a moment as Kara watches her, likes she’s assessing her, making sure she’s actually okay.

Lena thinks she is, with Kara here, even through the bad, she knows she’ll be okay.

* * *

Lena can feel the headache that’s beginning to form in the front of her mind, her eyes are growing sore from her contacts, she’s long since abandoned her shoes and her skirt feels scratchy against her legs. It’s been an entirely too long day and Lena knows it’ll be a few more hours before she can even consider leaving her desk, despite the already late hour.

She loves being a CEO, loves running L-Corp, loves the green and philanthropic direction she’s taken it since taking over the company, but sometimes she just wishes she could take a break.

Lena sighs, right now, she’d rather be anywhere but here, namely the movie night she’s missing with Kara. Kara had been understanding, of course she was, because that’s the sort of person that Kara is, but that doesn’t mean that Lena isn’t still upset at having to miss out on time with her best friend.

She’s not sure if best friend is the right word for Kara anymore. She has no idea how Kara feels, but sometimes she thinks, she  _ hopes  _ that Kara feels the same way about her too.

Except that’s probably just wishful thinking, and not something she  _ should _ be thinking, both because they’re technically just best friends and because she wants to leave the office before midnight.

A noise out on her balcony draws Lena’s attention and she’s surprised to find her favourite red and blue figure when she turns around.

“Kara?” Lena says, as her friend steps into her office. It shouldn’t feel this good to see her but it does.

“I come bearing gifts,” Kara says, holding up a bag with the logo of her favourite Italian restaurant (one that’s actually in Italy). Lena wonders how she managed that, considering the early hour in Italy right now.

Lena’s stomach grumbles at just the sight, she hadn’t realised how hungry she was. “You’re my favourite,” she says, already feeling some of the tension leaving her shoulders.

Kara places the bag in front of her and it takes a lot of self-control not to just tear into it. She hears Lillian’s voice in the back of her mind telling her she was raised better than that. Lena doesn’t think Lillian can really take credit for raising her at all.

“I know you skipped lunch and I’m sure you skipped dinner too and I can’t stay, but I wanted to make sure you ate something.”

Lena looks sheepish. “Thank you.” She goes on enough at Kara, telling here to not do anything reckless and look after herself as National City’s resident superhero (she really has very little self-preservation and is entirely too self-sacrificing for Lena’s poor heart, she worries her to no end), that Lena really should look after herself too to at least avoid being a hypocrite.

“And I brought your favourite,” Kara grins. “Knowing you wouldn’t be able to resist.”

Lena rolls her eyes. “You know me too well,” she says, already opening the bag, unable to resist the delicious smells any longer. “Do you want some?”

“Nope,” Kara shakes her head, blonde hair bouncing but still somehow perfect, even after a trip to Italy, around her face. “This is all for you.”

Lena raises an eyebrow. “I’m not going to eat your food.”

Lena stays quiet, long enough that Kara laughs.

“No, this is all yours, I already ate some on the way.” 

Okay, that makes a lot more sense, Kara is never one to turn down food.

“Plus, as I said, I can’t stay, I’m having a sisters’ night with Alex since we had to cancel, but I just wanted to stop by and see you and make sure you ate something.”

“Thank you,” Lena says again, grateful once again for how wonderful and thoughtful her best friend is. She’s still getting used to the fact that someone else genuinely cares about her wellbeing, the thought always making her feel warm inside, even more so because that person is Kara.

“Don’t stay too late, okay? And you know I’ll be able to tell if you don’t.”

_ Because she can hear her heartbeat across the city. _

Kara had told her once, that she listens to her heartbeat sometimes, can find her across the city. Lena’s not sure what it means that Kara can pick her heartbeat out from the thousands across National City, and she’s definitely not sure what it means that Kara focuses on her heartbeat sometimes, just because it makes her feel better.

Lena sighs, smiling. “I promise.” She’ll still be here pretty late, but some of this work could technically wait until the morning.

“Good,” Kara says, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of Lena’s head.

The action takes Lena completely by surprise.

She wonders if Kara can hear her heart now, can hear how it skips at Kara’s proximity, skips with the pressure of Kara’s lips against her hair, skips as Lena struggles to comprehend why Kara keeps kissing her.

“Say hi to Alex for me,” Lena says, grasping onto the first thought she can that doesn’t involve Kara or her lips or asking her to kiss her again.

Kara beams. “I will,” and then she’s gone as quick as she’d arrived, leaving in her wake a very confused Lena.

She let’s the food distract her, let’s the work distract her, even as thoughts of Kara try to break through.

It isn’t until she’s at home later, in bed, after she sends a text to Kara telling her she’s home, that she allows herself to focus on Kara again, to think about what every kiss may mean, think about the fact that she’s never seen her kiss any of her other friends, with the exception of her sister.

It might mean something, right? It could mean something, that Kara seems to only be kissing her. 

It must, right?

* * *

+1

“What are you doing?”

“Shhh…” Kara says, motioning Lena closer to where her ear is pressed firmly against her own front door. “Alex and Maggie are in there.”

“And why are you listening to Alex and Maggie in your own apartment?” Lena asks, voice lower this time. This is not the movie night she’d been expecting.

“Because Alex is proposing in there and I left to give them some privacy but I still want to know what’s happening.”

The explanation is enough to have Lena pressing her own ear to the door, even if this feels like a bit of an invasion of privacy too. But if Kara’s doing it too…

“I can’t hear anything,” Lena says after a moment of long silence as she tries to listen to anything through the door. She can hear the vague mumble of voices but that’s it. Kara must be using her super hearing, which means the ear pressing against the door is for nothing but show.

Kara seems to realise the same thing at the same time as she steps away.

“What’s happening?” Lena asks, because now she wants to know too. She knows that Alex has been planning for a while to propose, only because Kara slipped and told her she’d been ring shopping with Alex. But last she heard, Alex had still been trying to find the perfect way to propose, which Lena is sure didn’t include being in Kara’s apartment with Kara listening in.

“Alex is telling Maggie how much she loves her, everything she loves about her. It’s really cute.” Kara pulls a face. “For the most part.”

Lena is curious what prompted the addition of ‘for the most part.’

“Why is she proposing now?” Lena asks instead.

“Because Alex is dumb and the ring fell out of her pocket and Maggie saw and I almost expected Alex to just pretend nothing happened but then she started talking so I-oh Rao, Maggie just said yes!” Kara almost screeches, cutting herself off. Lena gets an armful of Kryptonian as Kara throws herself at her in excitement. She reminds her of a puppy and it’s cute.

“Oh my God,” Lena repeats, when the words actually sink in, it’s not like she expected Maggie to say no, though, she’s seen their relationship develop since basically the beginning, and there’s no doubt in Lena’s mind that they’re meant for each other.

“And-“ Kara scrunches up her nose, Lena having to suddenly fight the inexplicable urge to kiss the tip of it. “Ew, gross, now they’re kissing.”

“I think they should be allowed to do that,” Lena laughs. “They did just get engaged, after all.”

Suddenly, Kara’s beaming again. She’s absolutely radiant, Lena would even say it almost looks like she’s glowing. “They did. Alex is getting married!”

“She is,” Lena laughs, happy herself for her friends but Kara’s enthusiasm is contagious.

“Now what do we do?” Kara asks, eyeing the door. She looks about ready to break down the door so she can go and congratulate the happy couple. “They’re still kissing.”

Lena suddenly knows exactly what to say to wind Kara up. “And they’re probably going to keep kissing if we don’t interrupt. How do you feel about your sister having sex in-“

Kara’s finger on Lena’s lips stops her mid-sentence.

“Do not finish that sentence,” Kara says, eyes slightly panicked as she looks towards her apartment. “You don’t think they will…do you?”

Lena thinks the answer is probably no, not in Kara’s apartment and not when they both know that Kara is outside, but she’s also too focused on the fact that Kara’s finger is still  _ pressed against her lips _ to answer.

“You can come back in!” Alex calls from inside the apartment, thankfully answering Kara’s question for her, but more importantly, distracting Kara enough that she doesn’t realise just how damn affected Lena is by something as small as Kara touching her lips.

Kara doesn’t need to be asked twice, Kara through her front door fast enough that Lena suspects she may have used a bit of her super speed.

Kara immediately sweeps her sister into a big hug, pulling Maggie in with her, unable to contain her excitement.

Lena feels awkward for a moment, like she’s intruding on some family moment. But she pushes those thoughts down, reminds herself that she was invited here, reminds herself that these are actually her friends, her family, and that they love her.

Lena is pretty sure she sees Alex wipe tears from her eyes but she says nothing.

“Kara, too tight,” Alex laughs into her sister’s hold.

“Sorry,” Kara says, but she doesn’t look sorry when she lets go.

“Oh God, you were here too?” Alex asks, spotting Lena across the room. “This is so embarrassing.”

“Congratulations,” Lena laughs, pulling Alex into a hug. “Only you would do this.”

“Shut up,” Alex mumbles, even as she hugs Lena back.

“This is the person you’re choosing to marry?” Lena jokes as she hugs Maggie, earning an eye roll from Alex over Maggie’s shoulder. “I’m so happy for you,” Lena says, turning more serious.

“Thank you,” Maggie grins. Lena’s never seen either of them look this happy.

They end up still having their movie night, but Lena can tell that Alex and Maggie are paying more attention to each other than the movie itself. Lena’s not sure if Kara just hasn’t noticed the whispering or is choosing to ignore it.

“Text me tomorrow, okay? We have lots of wedding stuff to talk about,” Kara says as she pulls Alex into a hug before they leave.

“Should I be concerned?” Maggie asks as she gets her own hug.

“Probably.”

Lena hugs them both too and then she’s alone with Kara again, their night having gone wildly different to what she’d been expecting.

Kara flops herself back onto the couch, a stupidly cute grin on her face. “Can you believe Alex is engaged?”

Lena laughs, retaking her seat next to Kara. She loves seeing Kara like this, so light and happy, it’s not often that she truly lets herself go and just gets to relax.

Kara sighs. “She just looked so happy. Before Maggie, I wasn’t sure if she’d ever find someone, she never really showed any interest in anyone before so I wasn’t sure it was even something she wanted until she came out and now she has Maggie and I’m just so happy for them both.”

“I know you are, so am I,” Lena smiles. “Do you ever think about it? For you, I mean?”

“Think about what?”

“About finding someone who makes you that happy, about finding someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with?” Lena asks, because Kara keeps kissing her and looking at her like maybe she does and Lena has enough hope right now, has enough hope seeing that it can work out for someone else that she thinks just maybe she could have her own happy ending too.

“I do,” Kara says quietly, the openly affectionate look she’s currently wearing fuelling Lena’s hope. She hopes she’s not reading this whole thing entirely wrong. “Do you?”

“I think about it a lot,” Lena pauses. Here goes nothing. “I think about  _ you  _ a lot.”

Kara’s breath catches. 

“And seeing Alex so happy, seeing Maggie so happy, it’s made me wonder why I’ve waited so long to tell you how I feel.”

“ _ Lena _ ,” Kara gasps, breathless.

“And I don’t know if it means anything but you keep kissing me and-“

“It means something,” Kara says, cutting in. She reaches out, brushes a strand of loose hair behind Lena’s ear. Her hand lingers, brushes gently over the shell of Lena’s ear. Lena sighs into the contact, shuts her eyes against the sudden rush of feelings in her chest.

Kara’s touch is so soft and it sounds like Kara may actually like her back and Lena is having trouble processing the information all at once.

“Lena?” Kara whispers.

Lena opens her eyes and finds Kara much closer than she was before. Of their own accord, Lena’s eyes fall to Kara’s lips, suddenly so close, lips that keep kissing her, lips she desperately wants to kiss back.

Lena leans forward, only realising exactly what she’s doing, what it means, when she feels warm breath against her lips. She pauses, her mouth hovering just over Kara’s, so close their noses brush.

“Is this okay?” Lena breathes.

“Mmhmm,” Kara hums.

“Can I ki-“ Lena starts, cut off by Kara’s immediate answer.

“Please.”

Lena feels the rush of breath against her lips before she pushes forward, closes the gap that was hardly a gap in the first place and then her lips are on Kara’s, her lips are on Kara’s and they’re even softer than she remembers, her lips are on Kara’s and her whole body feels like it’s on fire as Kara gently presses into her mouth, as Kara’s hand slips along her jaw to hold her close.

Her lips are on Kara’s and Kara’s lips are on hers and it’s everything.

“Wow,” Kara breathes, her lips slipping from Lena’s but she stays close, a hand still cupping Lena’s jaw.

She’s so close that when Lena blinks her eyes open, she can clearly see the dusting of freckles across Kara’s cheeks.

“That was…” Lena trails off. She really doesn’t have words right now.

“Yeah,” Kara giggles, she  _ giggles _ . “You’re really good at that.”

This time, it’s Lena that laughs.

“I should’ve done that a long time ago.”

“I mean,” Lena starts, this time it’s her that brushes some of Kara’s hair from her face, her hand lingering against Kara’s cheek. “You did drive me a little insane every time you kissed me because I didn’t know what it meant, but I’m happy with how we got to this point.”

Kara turns, presses a kiss to Lena’s palm. “It meant that I was in love you but I didn’t know how to tell you in case you didn’t feel the same.”

Lena’s heart feels like it’s trying to beat its way out of her chest. “Was?”

“Am,” Kara corrects. “I’m in love with you.”

Kara  _ must  _ be able to hear her heart right now. “If you hadn’t already guessed, I’m in love with you too.”

“Thank, Rao,” Kara breathes. “Or else things could’ve gotten really awkward just then.”

Lena laughs, her head falling to rest against Kara’s shoulder. Arms instantly wrap around her, holding her close. Lena feels lips press against the top of her head and she melts at the touch.

“Can I take you out to dinner tomorrow night?” Kara asks.

Lena tilts her head up. “Are you asking me on a date?”

“Maybe,” Kara grins.

Lena’s eyes fall to Kara’s mouth, to lips she can finally confirm feel so soft pressed against hers.

“I guess my answer is yes, regardless,” Lena says, capturing Kara’s smile with her own.

“Then it’s a date,” Kara mumbles, the words lost in Lena’s mouth.

They don’t do much talking for the rest of the night, and Lena finally gets to give Kara all the kisses she wants.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Tumblr: spaceman-earthgirl


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